The Insanity in Logic
by roboticake
Summary: Ishida Uryuu thinks he is a perfectly sane and respectable person, thank you very much for the concern. But when Kurosaki Ichigo, former classmate, professional bully and unequalled idiot, barges in his library and appears to be his new colleague, Uryuu isn't sure about it anymore. AU, yaoi, love/hate relationship, denial.
1. Chapter 1

**INSANITY IN LOGIC  
**

CHAPTER ONE

Seeping his tea, eyes wandering on the numerous shelves of the library he worked for, Ishida Uryuu was contemplating the busy lives buzzing outside. A woman, walking fast in her high heels, an umbrella in a hand ; a businessman, fingers caught in undisciplined hair. Two little girls, running to school, with birds flying over them like they had, for a weird reason, the objective to overtake them.

Uryuu's gaze stayed a moment on the birds before they disappeared behind a huge building, then it flickered to the gloomy sky, to the humid ground, to the world around him sunk in a deep lethargy that announced one thing:_ Monday_. Mondays were not that awful, in fact, they offered a moment of calm, a perfect period of time to relax and slurp an unhealthy amount of tea. But while his colleagues were enjoying this kind-of extended weekend, it made Uryuu feel uncomfortable, restless ; like something wasn't right. Sighing in annoyance, he ran a hand in his short black hair.

He was the kind of person being dedicated to his work, refusing to be paid for nothing, trying to earn what he deserved and ignoring easy ways because he needed to feel accomplished, craved for self-satisfaction and could absolutely not sit here and let himself change in a sort of useless, pretty, decorative flower.

The entrance bell suddenly rung and Uryuu tore his attention from his own reflection undulating in his green tea, eyeing eagerly at the tall silhouette that came in. A drenched stripped hat and wooden sandals appeared under the warm light of the library, and Uryuu rolled his eyes as he recognized Urahara Kisuke, his kind but somewhat eccentric manager.

"I told you it was going to rain two days ago," Uryuu snorted, nose wrinkling. Urahara smelt like rain on asphalt and smoke, like pollution and flowers, and the mix was too odd to be appreciated. It was strange and unnatural and Uryuu repressed the urge to make a face because Urahara would definitively call him_ princess_, lips curled in a smile and his ash-blond hair dripping.

The manager, not noticing Uryuu's disgusted face, didn't raise his head and stayed a moment there, standing, staring at his wet feet like they were the signification of all lives in the world. Then, he suddenly seemed to acknowledge the librarian with a smirk and finally muttered, "Oh, you know I am a busy man, Ishida, I can't remember all these irrelevant things". And Urahara plopped down on the nearest chair and took Uryuu's teacup, sipping its content a bit before gulping it whole steadily, as it was one of these difficult tasks he always mentioned.

Uryuu screamed internally in agony when he saw his tea disappear, but his features stayed blank while he tried to calm himself down. He opted for his trademark sceptical raised eyebrow before turning to the computer screen, attempting to busy himself in a non-existent work while his manager retreated himself in his office, a contented smile on his face.

And the usual Monday continued, so boring that it seemed Time had purposely slowed down itself to make the tortuous day even more tortuous. Uryuu, head plunged down in a pile of books he decided to rearrange on some shelves, narrowed his eyes in direction of the entrance, where the bell just rung. Damn dust, damn old shelves and damn this mountain of books, his glasses were smudged and he couldn't see anything in the thick layer of grey covering them. Uryuu just tried to guess the time before he got up to welcome the first customer of this day.

It was probably two o'clock.

"Welcome, how can I help you ?" the brunette asked in a tired voice, eyes closed and blindly attempting to wipe his glasses clean with a piece of his worn sweat.

There was a sharp intake of breath, a surprised gasp if Uryuu wasn't wrong. Intrigued, he opened his eyes, put back his glasses and mirrored the same noise. It was more strangled, definitively more indignant, but as surprised. It took maybe a couples of seconds, or maybe a handful of minutes, Uryuu didn't know, but suddenly he was red all over the face and his teeth were clenched.

In front of him, in a glorious black suit and blue tie was standing the person Uryuu tried to forget the most in this world. Almost unnatural orange coloured hair, spiking everywhere as it had its own conscience, brown eyes staring straight at him in surprise, it was impossible to mistake him with anyone else : Kurosaki Ichigo, former classmate, professional bully and unequalled idiot was standing in front of him, all pampered and clean-shaven as he was back to end-of-the-year ball again.

Ichigo stayed silent, frozen, apparently unable to process Uryuu's presence. The brunette clicked his jaw, a thin, hard line expressing how the other's presence disgusted him ; before he snarled, "Why are you here ?", furious. This short sentence was pronounced word by word between his clenched teeth, like if he opened his mouth just a little more, he would vomit and spit on Kurosaki's face without even an ounce of self-control.

The orange haired boy tried to choke out some words, destabilized by Uryuu's presence or his own surprise, before he closed his mouth and tried to run away under the brunette's satisfied gaze. But fate, destiny, God, whatever was ruling the Earth seemed to have another plan ; because Urahara suddenly appeared from behind, shoes hitting the floor in a steady rhythm, and his face beamed when he noticed the almost fleeing Kurosaki Ichigo.

Urahara rose his arms exaggeratedly like a very bad puppeteer was controlling him, before he exclaimed, visibly more than happy, "Hey, isn't it Kurosaki ? Oh boy, you're as punctual as your father said ! Come, come !"

The brunette sharply craned his head to see his manager approach Kurosaki. The two of them spoke in hushed voices, the newcomer's eyes sometimes flickering to Uryuu's face a split-second before he continued to talk, and the quiet librarian wanted to hear more than ever whatever they were saying because he just knew it was probably about _him_. Self-conscious, he looked intensively at his shoes. Funny, he never noticed there was a scratch on the side of the left one.

But then Urahara retreated in his office, Kurosaki following silently behind him, and Uryuu knew it was the end of his world when a moment later –the brunette didn't exactly know how long it took, his manager emerged from his office with a smirk and a somewhat tensed orange haired guy behind him.

"So, yeah. Kurosaki Ichigo will be replacing Arisawa during her holidays !"

Uryuu didn't really listen. He just wanted the floor to swallow him whole.


	2. Chapter 2

The Insanity in Logic

Chapter 2

Uryuu didn't understand why Kurosaki was standing in front of him, leaning so near he could smell the cheap perfume emanating from him. The dark haired boy blinked, once, twice, before he let out a tentative "what" ; to which Kurosaki replied by a snort and a flat, useless "what". Narrowing his eyes, Uryuu drew back his head, tore away the distinct smell and openly stared at Kurosaki's furrowed stupid eyebrows that never seemed to relax.

"What do you want ?" he clarified, voice carrying suspicion.

Kurosaki shrugged and replied with a smirk, distractingly noticing the needles and pink fabric in Uryuu's bag, "Nothing, just making sure you were still your ugly, nerd, self."

The said nerd felt his cheeks redden –in embarrassment or anger, probably both, while the sound of laughter filled the classroom. Classroom ? Oh, yeah, that was right. They were wearing their grey uniform, Uryuu was sitting on his habitual spot, and Kurosaki was that jerk that never ceased to pick on him and and it was suddenly high school again.

It felt like a dream and like a memory at the same time, and Uryuu couldn't really decipher if his mind made up the previous scene or if he was just remembering what Kurosaki Ichigo once did to him ; one of his constant taunts, one of the never ending sneers he got.

Uryuu stared at Kurosaki's retreating silhouette, walking toward Yasutora Sado, one of their classmate. He was one of the orange haired student friend, a close one even, but the two seemed distant since a couple of days, week, Hell, Uryuu didn't care that much. But he did care when the named Yasutora threw him an apologetic glance, as if he was trying to tell Uryuu to not blame Kurosaki. What a joke.

The brunette looked pointedly at the window, hoping that today wasn't a rainy day and that he could get a superb view of Karakura Town, but suddenly all was blurry and dark and light at the same time, and the explosion of colour blinded him a moment and when everything calmed down, he was staring at the old ceiling of the library. Urahara's library.

Was it just a dream ? A memory ? A dream of a memory ? Uryuu blinked, realizing he was sleeping on the rest room sofa, and a very concerned Yasutora Sado was hovering him, eyeing him with curiosity. Uryuu rose an eyebrow and croaked out a "what d'you want ?" that the other replied with a shrug.

His presence reminded Uryuu his dream, except that Sado was now his colleague, that they were eight years older, and most importantly, that he was Uryuu's friend and totally not Kurosaki's. But even if time passed, people changed, the brunette's resentment toward the past-Sado present in his dream tainted his voice when he repeated "what do you want ?", clearer, louder, and maybe a bit angrier.

"I'm sorry," his friend finally said, his voice calm, almost soothing, and Uryuu immediately knew he wasn't talking about the fact that he just awoken him. "I didn't know Ichigo was going to work here."

"It's okay", Uryuu sighed, getting up. He felt a bit guilty for snapping at his friend. "It's not like you could guess that this idiot would work here, after all. And you don't even talk to each other anymore ! Really, Sado, it's okay."

Sado seemed to relax a bit, and offered a genuine smile. He sat on the pouffe behind him, so small compared to his giant frame that made the little piece of furniture even smaller. He finally dared to ask, slowly, "So, what will you do ? Quit ? Ichigo used to be quite a jerk with you, if you explain that to Urahara, he won't blame you."

Uryuu made an indignant noise with the back of his throat. "No ! If someone has to quit, it's him, not me ! He wasn't just a jerk and you know that. Besides, he stays a month. Just a month. Then he'll go away and I won't see his frigging face again."

Maybe that was just what Uryuu told himself to not quit or get himself fired. He looked away and tried to settle in his seat, suddenly uncomfortable. Sado unperturbedly replied :

"Yeah, but you don't seem like yourself since he came, so I was wondering...  
- Wondering what ? That I can't be professional ? I am professional and perfectly okay, and I won't let the past or whatever get to me, trust me."

And Uryuu knew he lied so hard to Sado, to himself ; because, after his lunch break was over, when Kurosaki walked to him and told him, eyeing him expectantly, "I sorted all the books you gave me, and I tidied the floor. What can I do next ?", Uryuu was pretty sure he was going to explode.

Kurosaki's voice was quiet, his words were carefully neutral and oh so polite that made Uryuu's anger flare up. He crossed with long strides the space between that irritating orange haired guy with stupid brown eyes and himself, then jammed a finger in his chest, hoping his nails would hurt it like Hell and leave a mark.

At the same time, he also tried to ignore his dream where Kurosaki was the one leaning toward and not him, where Kurosaki was the one with a cheap perfume and not him.

Uryuu then snarled, trying to keep himself from yelling, "Quit the hypocrisy, I know you hated me, God, you probably still hate me so don't come to me and talk like you never did anything wrong."

Kurosaki blinked.

"I don't hate-  
- Don't you dare lie to me, and if you try to tell me you didn't do anything I will fucking punch you in the face, and I don't even care about loosing my job so don't. Provoke. Me," Uryuu interrupted, cheeks red with anger (he was sure it was anger now, and not embarrassment).

Kurosaki stayed silent a moment, amber eyes staring in the ocean Uryuu's ones offered, before they hardened. Ha, Uryuu thought, his gaze on the other's moving lips, finally quitting all that obvious I'm-a-good-guy play.

"Fuck you Ishida, you thought it was easy for me ?" Kurosaki roared, and Uryuu totally did not jump. "I was seventeen and everyone was deciding what would I do of my life, they were expecting me to play basketball until death and marry Orihime and have three perfect redhead kids ! I didn't want that, shit, I never wanted that but I had to do this ! And you, you were here being yourself, taunting me, and nobody blamed you for that !"

There was a moment of perfect balance, when their role had reversed, when Kurosaki was the one angry and red all over his face, leaning forward as if the dark haired one wouldn't hear him if he didn't do that, and Uryuu the composed one, staring at him in disbelief. The anger was still here, curled in his chest and making his heart feel trapped in a tight grip, but when Uryuu spoke, his voice was quiet.

"You bullied me because you couldn't just say no ? You made my life a fucking Hell because you didn't dare to tell everyone to shut the fuck up and to kiss your ass ? Damn, Kurosaki. That's a fucking lame excuse. That's not even a excuse. You realize the moment you showed the whole school that picture, during the end-of-the-year ball, you made my shittier life even more shittier ? And you dare come here and tell me that wasn't easy for you ?"

Uryuu willed the memories of his senior year away, tried to ignore the pictures of his seventeen years old self kissing a very male teacher pinned on every wall of that damn school, tried to forget the disgusted face and the insult that came from everywhere. The silhouette of a smirking Kurosaki Ichigo, classmate, idiot and bully, suddenly became the instigator of his nightmare and Uryuu wished that he could bleach his mind away so he could ignore what happened.

But he couldn't. Never. Not with Kurosaki standing here in front of him, speechless and overtaken by anger. Not with Kurosaki suddenly blurting out,

"No, that wasn't easy because I wanted you".

And the world suddenly didn't make sense.


End file.
